Wednesday, September 06, 2006
today wake up early . . initially is wanna go kbox with sky de . . but he this sleeping beauty wake up see handphone for one second jiu go back orh orh liaos . . lols . .
these few days keep going to his house . . think i stay at his house more than i stay at my own house le . . actually i wanna buy a little children keyboard to put in his room so that i can play it when i am bored de . . but due to it isn't really a need + money constraints ` this idea will be put aside temporarily . .
yesterday afternoon go jog jog with him + kopi . . wahs . . too long never exercise le . . my stamina chao lan de . . run bu dao 1 minute jiu stomach pain liaos . . boo boo boo . . lols . . kopi got a lot of suitors wors . . all the male doggies are going crazy over her . . but i think kopi is so scare of them till she lau sai =X . . hahas . .
yesterday night i very sad wors . . walk down the street alone again . . this is the 3rd time that i walk down the street alone like a body without a soul le . .
1st time is when he wanted to break with me during my 17th birthday . .
that is the saddest day throughout my life bahs . . why why why ? ? why she hurted him yet he still gave her such a wonderful birthday . . why i love him so much yet i got such hurts from him ? ? doesn't this prove that he loves her so much and i am way below ? ? i know he won't want me to think about this . . neither do i wish . . but how many 17th birthday can i have ? ? there is one only . . and only one . . ='(
2nd time is when he told me that he love me wholeheartedly only after 7 months we stead . .
i know he got hurted by girls before . . so do i ? ? i even thought that i would never get into a relationship anymore . . until he appeared and i gave my whole heart to him . . but why is everything always so unfair to me ? ? are all the holding hands + hugs + kisses + "i love you" fake in the first 7 months ? ? don't tell me it is the present now which is more important . . and he has misunderstood the meaning of "present" . . present means the day from thursday 25th november 2004 the day we got together till now . . facts also can't deny that he has let me seen so much past during the present . . if he was to delete the saved items . . delete the blogs . . keep a distance from those girls . . will i still discover those things ? ? i am so afriad that one day he will tell me that actually he has never loved me before . . don't tell me this is impossible . . cause after so many lies + incidents ` i have came to realise that almost anything is possible from him . . ='(
yesterday face to face ` he told me emotionally . . "you want to meet who i also give you meet! ! but i want to meet who jiu cannot! !" . .
he finally say out those words which are from the bottom of his heart le . . and please don't wronged me . . i have only gone out with 1 ex . . that is jeremy and it is for twice only . . and that is because one time he has just fallen out of love and is feeling low and another time is his birthday . . and i have known him for 11 years already . . even if we don't have that type of relationship . . we will also have that type of friendship . .
and he actually encourages me with you . . but what about HER ? ? i only read "luckily there isn't anything BIG happens in the end" from HER blog when SHE knows that all of your guys are having problems with their girls (and that includes US). .
AND FOR HER . . I HAVE ALREADY REPEATED FOR A DOZEN TIMES . . TONNING + DRINKING WITH HER AT FISHERMAN VILLAGE . . TONNING + LAMING WITH HER AT MY VOID DECK WHEN WE ARE HAVING COLD WAR . . SHE GETS TO GO TO THE TONNING BBQ WHEN I AM NOT EVEN INFORMED ABOUT THE BBQ . . I KNOW YOU ARE GOING TO SAY THAT THESE ARE NOTHING . . ALRIGHTS . . EVEN IF I FORCE MYSELF TO ACCEPT THESE . . THEN MAY I KNOW WHY ARE YOU JEALOUS WHEN ALEX IS TRYING TO CHASE HER ? ? WORDS CAN LIE . . ACTIONS CAN LIE . . BUT FEELINGS WON'T LIE . . AND IF YOU THINK THAT ALL THESE THINGS ARE PERFECTLY FINE . . DON'T EVER COMPLAIN IF I EVER DO THESE THINGS IN THE FUTURE . . DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU AREN'T WORRY AT ALL ? ? CAUSE YOU KNOW THAT I AM NOT THAT TYPE OF GIRLS WHO WILL ALWAYS GO OUT WITH GUYS OR GO CHIONG OR TON OUTSIDE . .
AS I ALWAYS SAY . .
ALWAYS PUT YOURSELF INTO MY SHOES . .
AND IF YOU FAIL TO PUT YOURSELF INTO MY SHOES . .
THIS ONLY MEANS THAT THE LOVE YOU CLAIM TO LOVE ME . .
IT ISN'T LOVE . .
and i really want to thanks my darling kitty for companying me yesterday
and my long ago de 17th birthday . .
WHEN I THOUGHT THAT THE WORLD IS FILLED WITH COLDNESS . .
YOU BOUGHT WARMTH INTO MY LIFE . .
THANKS SO MUCH MY DARLING KITTY . . =)
yesterday he insists on me talking to him face to face . . but i refuses . . cause i know my tears will just flow out when i am just being hurted . . but after fixing my feelings for 1 night . . i try to talk to him face to face just now . . yet he is "hiding" here and there . . so no choice nohs . . i come to a solution that i need to write letters to him le . .
hmm hmm hmm . . even though we didn't get to sing kbox nor catch a movie . . but today is still quite a happy day with him . . =D
NI ZHE GE CHOU SKY SKY ! !
NI GEI WO TING QING CHU ! !
DON'T EVER BULLY ME AGAIN ! !
IF NOT FOR YOUR NEXT 7 LIFETIMES ` I WILL BULLY YOU BACK ! !
MUAWAHAHAS ! ! =P
~ ~ * * tian ting de ting * * ~ ~
~ ~ * * dou dou jia zhu de ding ding tang * * ~ ~
Updated@1:03 AM
